A Fool, according to the Bible, is someone who is dull, and or is unresponsive. Are you a foolish woman when it comes to covering your husband? There are many details in this job description, but three points to focus your attention on is time, opportunity, and pressure. These three things are part of the equation that the enemy uses to plant the seed of sin in the mind. And this is what he will use to attack your man.
God has given women the privilege and ability to bring life to their husbands with love. Women have enormous power with men, and it can be used for good or for evil. Consider the example from the Scripture above; the power of Delilah with Samson. Samson could take on an army of warriors, but he surrendered everything he was to the charms of one woman. The wisest and richest man to ever live fell under the interest and advisement from his many wives and concubines.
Feminine power was intended to give life. Eve was designed to complete her man, to nurture life in him, as well as the life that came from him. Many wives do not understand how profound this power is. God has blessed women with a feminine ability that you can use for great good in your husband’s life. God has plans for your man. He wants to use you to grow him into a godly man. Your power can meet his aloneness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him safe, secure and saved throughout his life.
Meet His “Aloneness” Need
There is something missing inside of every man. And it’s by divine design. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It’s an astounding truth that the perfect God of the universe created a perfect human being and then declared, “it (his aloneness) is not good.” God intentionally created the first man with an aloneness need. Man was incomplete. God orchestrated the perfect arrangement for His grand finale of creation: a woman, the “helper suitable for him.” It is still true since “in the beginning” in Genesis, a wife makes a man complete and whole. God removed a rib from Adam’s side to fashion his mate, but He never replaced it. The wife is God’s plan to fulfill that need and cover his heart, where the rib once was.
God brought you into his life to be his “helper” to meet his companionship need. In a Christian marriage, this oneness is a unity of mind, body, and soul, and is celebrated through the sexual union. In marriage we can touch the holiness of God; we can recapture a taste of what was lost in the Garden when a husband and a wife express love, transparency, trust, and sacrifice in the mystery of marital intercourse.
Bless His Sexuality
God created men to be attracted to women; I don’t apologize for being who He wired me to be. He had multiple purposes in mind. Adam’s need was not just for a companion. He needed Eve for the joy of finding pleasure in her total person—body, soul, and spirit—and for the affirmation and blessing of his identity as a man that come through her love for him. A wife can profoundly validate her man’s God-ordained manhood. Since all men are created with an aloneness need, they journey from boyhood into adulthood needing to know that their maleness is good and positive. Humanly speaking, this is a question that only his wife should answer, a blessing only she should give. He has no other legal way to express this need.
Genesis 2:25 says, “. . . and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” As a result, every wife has a deep, life-altering responsibility to her husband to be a helper, and help him feel like the man God created him to be. If you love my husband, you won’t view his sexual needs disapprovingly, but as God-given and for a purpose. God made him and God wired him.
Protect Your Husband from Temptation
You have the power to protect your husband from temptation by making sure his sexual needs are met by you and you alone. I have a good friend who said it this way: “If you don’t want to do his laundry, your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners. If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat. But if your husband isn’t getting his sexual needs met at home with you, and he goes somewhere else, God calls that a sin.” It’s not just his sin, but yours as well. The same Bible that commands him to be faithful to you, also commands you to cover his need. Too many women would love to have him if I let him leave home for work or travel constantly in a state of sexual deprivation. First Corinthians 7:5 (NKJV) tells us, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to . . . prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. If your husband sins in this way, he’s responsible before God. But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping him not yield to temptation. God created us as men and women with profoundly inherent differences. If you love him, you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of his soul floats by him day after day. A person can get away from drugs or alcohol, but there is nowhere to go to get away from that type of temptation. You are most powerful as a wife when you become a student of what your husband likes and then use that knowledge and your feminine skill to protect him from temptation and sin. Renew your mind with the Song of Solomon, and realize how much sexual freedom and fun you are really designed to have with your spouse.
Keep Him for Life
Have you ever thought about what it means to “have” and “hold” your husband? To have implies a possession. It means he belongs to you and no one else. He is your responsibility, and you are his. Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility? For frequency? Creativity? Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love? Do you put his needs before or after those of your children, your church or your work?
To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet. A magnet has the power within to pull another polar opposite to itself. My husband and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way. It’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. But I must continue to be a magnet in his life if I am to keep him. If you notice, you start to loose the attraction for him once you try and make him just like you. Opposites attract, not the same polarities.
This may come as no surprise to you, but most men want—really want—their wives to passionately desire them. And when you express sexual longing for him—whether verbally or nonverbally—your husband is unlikely to refuse your magnetic power. The more a wife affirms her husband’s God-given manhood, the more she helps build him into the man God wants him to be. This power of a wife to affirm him, bless him, protect him, and keep him is blessed by God. It is a very good, nurturing, life-giving gift. Knowing this, I’ve often wondered why women don’t want or choose to use their God-given powers to affirm and nurture their husbands more often.
Make an investment that could pay wonderful dividends in your marriage. What man wouldn’t go the extra mile for his bride after she would publicly admire him and privately honored him?
By using her feminine powers in such a powerful way, a wife can ignite a fire in the soul of her mate that blazed for weeks. This is, after all, a biblical principle.
This power you have as a wife is blessed by God. It is a very good, life-giving thing. The question remains: What will you do about this power you possess? Are you going to put it to death, bury it, deny it, or will you choose to exercise your sexual power to create a soul-satisfying confidence in your man?
John L. Donelson
Copyright © 2011
Revelations Media, LLC